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30 Seconds to Intimacy

July 15, 2022 by Faith Perez M.A., LPC

In the grand scheme of things, 30 seconds may not sound like a long time. What if that 30 seconds were the difference in a meaningful connection with your partner?

Intimacy comes in different forms, but there are four main forms which we will focus on. These four forms of intimacy are the building blocks to stronger, healthy and long-lasting relationship.

Physical intimacy: most widely associated with sexual intercourse, in actuality it involves much more expression and sensual connections to build and maintain.

Emotional intimacy: this means being able to share in your deepest dreams, feelings, fears, expressions of vulnerability without fear of judgement.

Intellectual intimacy: sharing and connecting with your partner on a cognitive level in order to discuss and deepen your understanding of your partner’s viewpoints while valuing their opinion.

Experiential intimacy:  this is sharing in experiences with your partner. Experiences vary for couples but can be as simple as dinners at your favorite restaurant to traveling the globe.

Relationship Survive Without Intimacy, Is It Possible?

Basic human needs include physiological (food and clothing), safety, love and affection, esteem, and self-actualization. Without the building blocks of love and affection, a relationship can face a wide range of dissatisfaction.

It is possible for a relationship without intimacy to survive if both partners are willing to put forth the effort to rebuild. This begins with getting back to the basics of emotional support, intellectual connectedness, sharing in new and old experiences, and showing appreciation for your partner.

How do we turn up the intimacy?

Let’s go back to the question asked at the beginning. What if that 30 seconds were the difference in a meaningful connection with your partner? In 30 seconds of engaging in connection-deepening activities, you begin to rediscover what it feels like to be open and vulnerable with your partner.

Try spending 30 seconds looking your partner in the eyes; no talking, no distractions, just eye contact. Hard right? It can feel foreign to us to do this because it causes us to be open and vulnerable with the deepest parts of ourselves. Will you try this with your partner today?

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