I have heard it said that the truth doesn’t cost you anything, but a lie could cost you everything. I find this to be a true statement in almost every situation in which it could apply. Often times we think that a lie is nothing more than words and it may be sparing their feelings to not be truthful. For example, telling your partner the dinner was amazing, all the while knowing that it was over salted or slightly under cooked. These types of lies don’t hurt, right?
The answer is not as complicated as you might think. You might think that sparing your spouse’s feelings now will not cause harm since it is just one convenient lie. Where does not stop? A moment of inconvenience and communication will go much further than taking the easy way out. I am sure we can all look at our past or even as recent as today to see how we have used these little white lies to get out of an inconvenient situation.
The problem with this is that we are not being our most authentic selves. We are not working to secure an honest and intimate path to communication with our partner. We may call it sugar coating, fibbing, half-truths or little white lies to minimize the fact that we have done just that, lied.
When we do this in our relationships, it may not cause hurt or mistrust until that little white lie comes to light. Where once you might have praised your partner’s over salted meal to save their feelings and now after a negative comment you find yourself back peddling as to why you chose to lie in the first place. The mistrust does not always seem apparent but can build over time. Maybe your partner begins to question how you feel about them, if it really is just hanging out with the pals, or if you still find them attractive.
Best rule I can give you in a relationship is to never say or do something that could have been sorted out by simply having a conversation with your partner. Being open and honest with your partner helps to establish a positive line of communication, build on intimacy and never risks having to call your integrity into question. Honesty really is the best policy.
