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What is Polyamory?

September 21, 2022 by Faith Perez M.A., LPC

Polyamory is a word that is recently has increased in its cultural exposure, yet still hold many misnomers and confusion. So, let’s break down the basics of understanding together in what polyamory is.

According to Merriam-Webster’s dictionary, Polyamory is: involving, having, or characterized by more than one open romantic relationship at a time.

This is a type of ethical non-monogamy and involves having relationships with multiple people in varied structures and agreements. These relationships are becoming increasing more common in our society, yet still are confronted with the idea that they are “doomed”, “messy”, or fail more often than monogamous relationships.

Structures of Polyamory

Poly relationships can be hierarchical or non-hierarchical in nature.

In the “hierarchy” aspect, it means that one relationship is prioritized over all others. For example, a couple might be in a married and this would be considered the “primary”, while all other relationships within their structure are “secondary”.  According to one study completed in 2021, people in non- hierarchical polyamorous relationships experienced satisfaction equivalent with those who may chose a hierarchical.

Other poly structures include:

Vee (or “V”). This involves one person dating two other people who are not involved with or dating one another.

Triad. This type of relationship involves three people who are all dating another, also known as a “Throuple”.

Quad. This involves four people dating one another, similar to that of a triad with four individuals.

Polyfidelity. This structure involves partners in a group who agree to not having sexual or romantic relationships with other individual outside of their group.

The key in all instances of these relationships regardless of structure is, communication!

Talking with your partner(s) extensively about needs, boundaries, expectations, and feelings are all a step in the right direction toward beginning and maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

There are many aspects to consider and understand when it involves polyamorous relationships, so it is always encouraged to do your homework. Like all relationships, they take work and are not a one size fits all when it comes to partnerships. While these are basics of polyamorous relationship structures, this does not mean that are a hard fast rule when it comes to yours. Ultimately, the decision is up to you to make the choice that is right for you and your partner(s).

If you are having thoughts or questions about entering this type of relationship and need further information or support, schedule and appointment with an affirming therapist to discuss in a safe and supportive environment.

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Kathleen Bradford
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Kathleen Bradford
February 12, 2024

Ray has been an extremely effective therapist utilizing a multitude of different techniques, including talk therapy and EMDR. He is very intuitive, kind, and sensitive to his patient's needs. Cannot recommend him enough.

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Lauren Goodley
February 9, 2024

I love this place. Office is super helpful for scheduling and payments. I do all my appointments online. My counselor Raymund Begaye is always professional and helpful, and offers different therapies including talk therapy and EMDR. Counseling with Ray has improved my quality of life and ability to handle, and enjoy (!), my life.

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Ryan Dicke
February 9, 2024

I have dealt with 2 therapists in the past, and I can tell you from experience that Raymund Begaye is world class. He has all the wisdom, grace and savvy of Hannibal Lector without the cannibalistic tendencies. Always selfless, supportive, and non judgemental, meeting Raymund has been a huge blessing in my life. I know from the bottom of my heart that he got into this business because he cares about people and the human element. He also thinks outside of the box. His knowledge and ability to conduct EMDR sessions have been pure gold. I was skeptical at first about EMDR, but after several sessions with Raymund I can honestly say past traumatic experiences that have kept me in a state of bondage, are not as intense as they once were. Raymund is a true American hero in many ways. He saved many lives fighting for our great country, and he continues to save lives by providing hope to the hopeless.

Stefanie Anderson
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Stefanie Anderson
February 9, 2024

I've been seeing Ray for over 3 years now. He has helped me work through so much of my trauma. We started with talk therapy and it was a big help. As we opened up through my past traumas, we utilized the EMDR therapy, and let me tell you, it works wonders. I'm not sure of the exact science behind why EMDR works but I promise it does. I've come along way from the start of my therapy journey. Ray is very patient, understanding, and even when you think he doesn't get it, he does. He's always been very reassuring and has let me ease into dealing with my past. I think I found my therapist for life because before him, I had gone through several therapists that never made me feel like I'm being heard. I would recommend the EMDR therapy to anyone. Thanks InMindOut for employing such a wonderful therapist. Please don't let him go anywhere lol.

Faith Harris
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Faith Harris
February 8, 2024

My therapist has been Ray B since fall of 2021. I was diagnosed with PTSD after the death of my husband. We were together 24 years and have a son. I know I'm alive today thanks to God and Ray. His techniques, patience, experience, care, effort, ideas and many more I can't think of, have been amazing. Ray is a blessing in my life.

Maggie Anaya
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Maggie Anaya
February 3, 2024

Great therapists, always friendly

Charles Earley
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Charles Earley
January 17, 2024

Canceled 3 weeks in a row.

Jessica Wicklund
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Jessica Wicklund
December 25, 2023

I saw your video on FailArmy. Sorry your beautiful ferns got stolen. If I ever make it to your area I’ll have to stop by and check it out. Looks like a cool place!

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