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The Importance of Life Skills Training for Children with Autism

March 16, 2023 by Ashley Bono LPC, LMFT

Throughout the course of my training and early years of being a therapist, I’ve had the opportunity to work with children and even adults from different backgrounds. Because of my training in ABA I’ve had the privilege and honor to work with children and adolescents diagnosed with Autism and their families. One of the most amazing things about working with this population is seeing the untapped potential in the minds of these youngsters come out and take the world by storm. That potential comes out with a lot of guidance, love, and patience from the caregivers as well as teachers who work with that child. But along with that potential comes unique set of challenges. Because Autism is a spectrum disorder, every child is affected differently and the symptoms tend to manifest in different ways. Some individuals tend to have cognitive problems, while others have fine motor/gross motor problems. These different symptoms can affect how individuals are treated or even the care that they receive throughout their lives. But one of the most important things that we can do for individuals on the spectrum is to help them build their own sense of indepence when it comes to life skills. Why am I emphasizing this? Because there are many cases when young people enter adulthood, and they have no idea how to handle basic concepts of life such as budgeting, knowing how to shop, knowing how to do laundry, cleaning the bathroom, etc. And this isn’t just children on the spectrum, this is children who are neuro-typical. Now I’m not going to get into the many reasons why these children don’t know or understand basic life skills because if I did this would be a very long blog post. What I hope to address with this particular blog is to put forward some ideas and ways of building life skills within your child.

1. Every child at every age and stage can learn a life skill of some kind. I’m a big fan of giving children small chores that they can do and are developmentally appropriate for them to learn. A one year old can learn how to put their toys on the right shelfs and put their dirty clothes in a laundry basket. A two year old can learn how to scrape off their plates in the trash and put their dishes on the kitchen counter. A fourteen year old can start learning how to separate out their laundry and wash it. Now keep in mind that when you first start giving children these chores or responsibilties, they are not going to get it right one hundred percent of the time. Adjust your expectations appropriately for their age as well as what you are able to see them do.  

2. Have expectations of what skills your child will learn as they grow older. As I mentioned before children can learn a new skill at every age and stage. We as adults need to have reasonable expectations of what skills our children will learn and when. Note how I used the term reasonable. Some parents make the mistake of not expecting their children to learn anything at all life skill wise and take care of everything for them. Others set the bar too high which results in the child getting discouraged, easily frustrated, and developing an unhealthy perfectionistic mindset. We need to believe that our children can achieve and have a reasonable expectation of when and how they can achieve it.  

3. Don’t be afraid to get creative with how you teach life skills. Let’s face it. Sometimes when we are working with our children, they do the dreaded “zoning out” in the middle of our lesson. This, of course, can get discouraging after a while. However, that is when creativity comes into play. Some parents might teach their kids about budgeting by taking them to the store, giving them a set amount of money, and telling them to buy groceries with only those funds. Other parents might teach their kids car maintenance by having them learn how to change the oil for themselves (if it’s developmentally appropriate of course). It all depends on how your child receives and retains information. It is important that we match our teaching with how our kids absorb information.  

4. Have a reasonable time line for your child to learn these skills. Notice how I wrote time line instead of time limit. It’s important to note that some children have developmental delays and it may take them longer to learn basic skills. This is where the word “patience” comes in. Many times we end up making the mistake of trying to push our kids too hard too quickly because we want them to be on the same level as their peers. While I can see some merit to that, there is a problem with conforming too much to the expectations of an ever changing society. Our children are never going to be one hundred percent like everyone else, and that’s not a bad thing. Some kids learn skills at a different pace and a different timeline based on their developmental ability. It is important to keep that in mind when it comes to when we expect our child to learn and understand the skill. 

The goal of parenting is to perpare our children for life. Now that may look different for every child with autism or a developmental delay, but we are still required to help our child to become as independent as possible. We may have to use unorthodox methods in order to help with them understanding these skills. But never lose sight of the overall goal which is our children being able to make their own decisions, and to lead their own lives in a healthy and productive way.  

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Kathleen Bradford
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Kathleen Bradford
February 12, 2024

Ray has been an extremely effective therapist utilizing a multitude of different techniques, including talk therapy and EMDR. He is very intuitive, kind, and sensitive to his patient's needs. Cannot recommend him enough.

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Lauren Goodley
February 9, 2024

I love this place. Office is super helpful for scheduling and payments. I do all my appointments online. My counselor Raymund Begaye is always professional and helpful, and offers different therapies including talk therapy and EMDR. Counseling with Ray has improved my quality of life and ability to handle, and enjoy (!), my life.

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Ryan Dicke
February 9, 2024

I have dealt with 2 therapists in the past, and I can tell you from experience that Raymund Begaye is world class. He has all the wisdom, grace and savvy of Hannibal Lector without the cannibalistic tendencies. Always selfless, supportive, and non judgemental, meeting Raymund has been a huge blessing in my life. I know from the bottom of my heart that he got into this business because he cares about people and the human element. He also thinks outside of the box. His knowledge and ability to conduct EMDR sessions have been pure gold. I was skeptical at first about EMDR, but after several sessions with Raymund I can honestly say past traumatic experiences that have kept me in a state of bondage, are not as intense as they once were. Raymund is a true American hero in many ways. He saved many lives fighting for our great country, and he continues to save lives by providing hope to the hopeless.

Stefanie Anderson
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Stefanie Anderson
February 9, 2024

I've been seeing Ray for over 3 years now. He has helped me work through so much of my trauma. We started with talk therapy and it was a big help. As we opened up through my past traumas, we utilized the EMDR therapy, and let me tell you, it works wonders. I'm not sure of the exact science behind why EMDR works but I promise it does. I've come along way from the start of my therapy journey. Ray is very patient, understanding, and even when you think he doesn't get it, he does. He's always been very reassuring and has let me ease into dealing with my past. I think I found my therapist for life because before him, I had gone through several therapists that never made me feel like I'm being heard. I would recommend the EMDR therapy to anyone. Thanks InMindOut for employing such a wonderful therapist. Please don't let him go anywhere lol.

Faith Harris
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Faith Harris
February 8, 2024

My therapist has been Ray B since fall of 2021. I was diagnosed with PTSD after the death of my husband. We were together 24 years and have a son. I know I'm alive today thanks to God and Ray. His techniques, patience, experience, care, effort, ideas and many more I can't think of, have been amazing. Ray is a blessing in my life.

Maggie Anaya
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Maggie Anaya
February 3, 2024

Great therapists, always friendly

Charles Earley
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Charles Earley
January 17, 2024

Canceled 3 weeks in a row.

Jessica Wicklund
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Jessica Wicklund
December 25, 2023

I saw your video on FailArmy. Sorry your beautiful ferns got stolen. If I ever make it to your area I’ll have to stop by and check it out. Looks like a cool place!

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